I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
