Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
