That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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