Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
