We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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