Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize