Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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