i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just want nice things and good sex
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize