so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
