Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
