i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
