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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
