Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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