I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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