You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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