Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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