ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
