So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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