at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
