Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
