Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my being single is dangerous.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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