I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
