I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
tell me about the eggs
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
