you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
