He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
