I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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