Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize