I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
