Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
