I accidentally burped into my bong.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
