I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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