Having a random hookup so left but love u
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
