She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
