Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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