Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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