Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
