Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
