For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
where are my eyebrows?
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