Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
