So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
