I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
