He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
