Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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