I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
