Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
