how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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