and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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