I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
