Non-Jews are for practice
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Drunk is a universal language darling
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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