I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I want to be your penis for a week.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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