I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
