How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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