you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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