This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
