well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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