i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
