Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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