we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
