I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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