I'm going to jail i love you
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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