just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
