period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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