Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize