the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
