When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
