Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
