College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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