ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I feel like abortions should bother me more
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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