I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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