Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize