Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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