I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Randomize
