maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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