Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
