God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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