Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
