I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just cropdusted the office
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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