miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
