i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
