You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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