no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
