Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize